The Perfect Pastor

THE PERFECT PASTOR IS EXPECTED TO…

Visit all the shut-in and those in the hospital.
Discover your spiritual gifts and do something with them in the church.
Call you on the phone every time you fail to show up for church service.
Compliment you when you do a good job.
Shake your hand when you arrive and when you leave.
Inquire about your health if you have a sneeze.
Call you on the phone and ask if you have any special needs.
Prepare three sermons a week.
Mow his lawn, the churches lawn, and any church members lawn if they get sick.
Give counsel all those in the church that need advice.
Pray for all your needs, his needs and his families needs.
Encourage you when you appear discouraged.
Smile when he is discouraged.
Preach without expecting any Amen.
Keep a busy schedule so his congregation does not think he is overpaid.
Enjoy a cold congregation.
Spend a lot of hours of preparation for every service.
Be overworked, under supported; yet never stressed.
Nurture the members of his congregation that are selfish, childish, and immature.
Always let them know that you love them.
Take a vacation only when no one else is going away for the weekend.
Work seven days and nights a week.
Never see the flaws of his church members.
Use great wisdom when he preaches as not to offend someone.
Hide all his heartaches and struggles.
Never request prayer for his needs – remember HE is perfect.