Managing Your Anger
Anger is an emotion that God has given us as a tool to identify that there are deeper feelings to examine within ourselves. In Ephesians 4:26, we are told not to let the sun go down upon our anger, and to be angry and sin not.
Anger is a healthy emotion if used appropriately. We are not to use it for revenge (put downs, name calling, physical fights). It is a sign to us that something else is wrong. When we get angry at our wife there are deeper emotions involved. There may be hurt at her words (whether intentional or unintentional) or defensiveness due to feelings she is treating you like your mother. This can cause you to react to your wife in anger. Ask for clarification on what was really meant by what was said rather than throwing hurtful words in return.
Anger is a reaction to a need deep within us that is telling us there are other needs that need to be addressed. Anger covers hurt and rejection among many other needs. Having a bad day at work is not reason to take it out when you get home on others. Being irritable, having a bad day, the car breaking down, are not good enough reasons to misplace you anger on others.
It is better to communicate to your family what is going on and share what really is the matter. Be honest with others and how you are feeling without raising your voice and talking down to them, and they will respect you more and try to listen with an open mind. God has placed you in charge over your family and it is important that they feel your unconditional love with respect. Christ loves the church and a father can love his family in the same manner. He has given you a helpmate to work alongside you and support you. It is difficult to treat someone with respect when they are angry at you all the time and steam off when things do not go to their liking.
Anger is good if used in an appropriate manner. It helps us to be honest with others in creating better communication in the home, at work, and in the church. Stuffing feelings inside and denying how we feel and refusing to acknowledge them will hinder our relationships with others. We will end up fostering resentment toward the other person. What we feel toward others will come out in how we treat them.
We are all unique individuals, and God understands us even though we do not always understand ourselves. It is important that we share openly in communicating rather than allowing anger to build within causing words to flow that tear down bridges within the home. Be willing to say, "I am sorry" when you overreact. Ask for clarification rather than being quick with a comeback in a judgmental manner. Using silent treatments or sarcasm will not strengthen your relationship in the home.
Refrain from blaming someone else for your anger. When God Created Adam and Eve, he place them in a beautiful garden to eat of every tree, but one. Eve listened to the serpent and ate of the one tree that God had instructed them not to. Then, she convinced Adam to take a bite, which he did. When God came to talk with them in the cool of the evening, they hid. God asked them why they were hiding, and they told him what they had done. Adam said, 'Eve made him do it" and Eve said the serpent made her eat of it. When you are confronted with your anger be responsibly, and honestly share what is going on inside you and what was really behind the anger.
It will be while taking time with God and getting into His Word that you will find greater strength to give healthier responses in your anger. God will give you the wisdom and the love you need, and you will build your relationship with him in the process. Your children are watching and will be influenced by the responses that they see in you. They in turn will respond accordingly to the model you portray.
©Kidzministry.net May 10, 2010. All rights reserved.